


Star Wars: Something New

by Zyalah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Asshole parents, Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Reader, Friends to Enemies, Internal Conflict, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:39:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8760847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zyalah/pseuds/Zyalah
Summary: You are the Head of Administration on the Starkiller Base. You wake up, go to work, eat dinner, go to bed. Occasionally you'll help out a co-worker or converse with a old family acquaintance known to the rest of the base as General Hux. But mostly you keep your head down, try to blend in, try to be invisible. Because you don't want him finding you. You dread the day, should it come, that Kylo Ren finds out you are Force Sensitive.





	1. Memories and Morning Routines

Serenity, that’s what you felt in this moment. You stood on a chair you’d dragged onto the balcony in order to see the lake below. You wondered for a moment if you were ever going to get tall, what age did people stop growing? You couldn’t remember.

"Maybe I should start paying more attention to my tutor." You mused to yourself, but only for a moment. Today was your eleventh birthday and you were not going to sully it by thinking of schoolwork.

Staring out at the beautiful Naboo landscape, you praised the heavens that you had been lucky enough to be born on the best planet in the universe. You couldn’t imagine living somewhere else, this was your home, surely there could be nowhere better. Speaking of home, your mother should have been back by now, you were waiting for her to finish her work at the Senate Embassy before you properly celebrated, plus she had promised you a special gift, and you being the ever impatient child had started to get tetchy, which was why you had decided to come out to the balcony. Watching the Naboo wildlife at play always brought peace to you.

You watched in glee as the wind blew through your hair and a pair or birds danced together in the sky, you mind instantly thought they were a couple, you didn’t know why, maybe it was the way they moved together or maybe you were, despite your young age, a romantic at heart. You smiled as you watched them, sunlight shining magnificently off their iridescent feathers, like exquisite multi-coloured fire being painted across the sky. For a brief moment, you felt jealousy, how would it feel to be able to go anywhere you wanted, do whatever you could, be exactly what you were meant to be and all with the one you loved? It’s not that your life was terrible, in fact you lived in a somewhat peaceful splendor, with your stately home built directly into the mountains and with direct access to the lake, your mother also made sure you wanted for naught, you had the best of everything, the best tutors, the best clothes, the best toys, it was obvious that your mother loved you and you loved her. You were happy with your life. Mostly.

They thought you didn’t hear them whisper, the people who worked in your house, the cleaners, the cooks, even your personal nanny. They liked to gossip, they smiled to your face and then when your back was turned so did they. At first you didn’t know what they were talking about, but then they mentioned your mothers name, they called her things you dare not repeat, they called her a traitor to the New Republic and laughed at her. Then you heard another name, your fathers name, a man you had met only a few times, the meetings had been brief and unremarkable, and above all else always taken place off Naboo. The words they spat about your father were somehow even more harsh than the ones they used for your mother, then they called him something new, ‘Empire Filth.’

Shaking your head to clear the negative memories away, you watched as the lovebirds flew away, and your peace once again returned. But the thing about peace is, it never seems to last.

It was like lightning struck through you very core, burning your insides, making your body silently convulse in pain. You fell from the chair, landing on the cold hard floor, desperately clutching your head as it threatened to break open. The staff ran to you after hearing the fall, they called your name, frantically asking if you were okay. You couldn’t hear them though, you could only hear screaming, however it wasn’t your voice, it was many different voices all desperately crying for help, but what terrified you the most, was that amongst the screaming voices, the loudest one of all was your mothers. She was petrified and begging, pleading for her life. Desperate and terrified.  
And then all of the voices, including your mothers, were silenced.

You faintly heard another staff member run over to the others and say “The Senate Embassy…it’s been attacked.”

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Bzzzza Bzzzza Bzzzzza your alarm was ringing loudly telling you to get out of bed. Normally you would roll over on your side and block it out, trying to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep. But that dream, no, that memory of your past had ripped you out of slumber much earlier than your alarm had. As the alarm kept blaring you sighed, rolling out of bed and taking the few short steps to you desk, where your holopad was charging. You silenced the alarm, finally ridding the room of the electronic buzz. You looked at the time, and to your dismay you still had two hours before you had to be at your station. At least you’d be at work on time today.

Stretching you moved over to your window and opened the blinds. Taking in the snowy view. In your dream you couldn’t imagine a more beautiful view than the one from your old home, but this view, this was a view you adored. Having never seen snow before coming to the Starkiller Base, it had taken you aback at first, you couldn’t believe anything could be that white or that cold. Brilliant white snow painted the entirety of the surface, making it look like an untouched canvas ready and waiting for an artist to claim it. Every light, be it natural or man made reflected off the snow, so even in the dark the base hauntingly glowed. Whilst mountains and vast empty plains were the views many other inhabitants got, yours was of the largest forest the base had to offer. It was picturesque to say the least, it reminded you of a mystical land from stories your mother told you when you were a child. Stories you heard again when you looked through your window, stories you lived when you walked through the forest in your spare time. You just wished you could share your stories with someone else. Other members of the First Order were not so keen of the ludicrous tales of make believe you often enjoyed.

You moved yourself away from the window, because you would spend the extra time you had this morning staring peacefully out the window if you didn’t. Entering the bathroom you moved sluggishly to the mirror, you were not a morning person in any sense of the word. You looked at your still sleepy reflection, chuckling silently to yourself, you had a serious case of bed head, once again you praised the nightmare for waking you up early. You wouldn’t have had the time to fix this birds nest you called hair if you had followed your normal routine of ignoring the alarm and sleeping for another hour. And the Head of Admin and HR could definitely not show up to work looking like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards.

You turned the shower on, ridding yourself of your sweat covered sleep wear, making a mental note to send them to the laundry department, that nightmarish memory from ten years ago had really struck a nerve with you. You entered the sleek black shower and let the hot water cascade over you. Thinking about that day made you wonder if people ever got over loosing a loved one...Maybe. But then how many people actually felt their loved one die-ing inside their own head, not to mention a building full people. Your mind then went to your father, General l/n, and what would have happened if he hadn’t come for you after the terrorist attack on Naboo.

You took your time in the shower, using your favourite scented soaps you had gotten on a trip to Coruscant, you washed away the negativity of the past, whilst also remembering to thoroughly clean your hair, getting the knots out was like a mission in itself, a mission that you gladly tackled and won, leaving your hair smooth and clean. Maybe today you would actually look like a high ranking member of the First Order.

Refreshed and calmed you looked once more at your holopad, you still had an hour and a half to get to work. You smiled to yourself, ‘I can get breakfast today’. Breakfast for you was a rarity, you often had to stash snacks in your office lest your coworkers deal with a hangry y/n . You got dressed in you standard issue Leuitenant Colonel's uniform. However you left off your jacket and boots. There was still one more thing you had to do before breakfast and before work.

Throwing down your desk chair pillow onto the middle of your rooms floor, you pulled out a few old candles, placing them in front of the pillow, they weren’t necessary for what you were about to do, but they helped, you found they relaxed and calmed you, which in turn helped your concentration. Finally you checked you door, making sure it was still locked, you knew it would be, but you couldn’t afford to risk it. If anyone caught you, you’d be dead. This was just something you had to do, it kept you safe, hidden. You couldn’t have anyone know that you were a Force Sensitive on the Starkiller Base.

Double checking the locks again, you returned to the center of the room and sat down, cross legged, hands placed palms up on your knees, you had done this a million times, but it always made you nervous. You were about to fortify your walls, reconstruct your small bubble that kept you separate and hidden from the force. It took an hour of intense meditation every single day to keep the force and all it’s users out, you had to go inside yourself and build that wall up again, brick by brick, **every**. **single**. **day**. You would have complained if it wasn’t keeping you alive. And that is were the fear came in, in the hour when you were building the shield up again, you were vulnerable. Instead of being invisible you were now standing in a crowd of identically dressed people praying you didn’t do anything to be noticed.

Praying **he** didn’t find you.

Shivering for a moment as you thought of Commander Kylo Ren bursting through the door to your room, screaming in anger, yelling about traitors, impaling you with his nightmare of a lightsaber. Your fear caused the candles in front of you to go out. You caught yourself quickly, regaining your calm as best you could, another incident like that would be like blaring an alarm directly into Kylo’s face. Or worse Snokes.

‘Breathe, you are fine, you are safe.’ You thought to yourself, returning to your meditation, you continued to build the wall back up with more determination and concentration then you ever had before.


	2. A Visit From An Old Friend

You rushed down the corridor, frantically trying to put your hair up in a neat, First Order sanctioned, bun, whilst also trying your best not to bump into the people in the corridors, the last thing you needed was to run head first into another officer, or a group of Stormtroopers. You were now twenty-five minutes late to work, your loss of control during meditation had made it difficult to complete, and thus you were more behind schedule then you had ever been before. You kept thinking about how your fear had caused the candles to extinguish, you made a point to never use the Force lest you alert a certain Knight of Ren to your presence, so you never truly new what you were capable of doing before today. It made you curious, but once again your mind thought of what Kylo would do to you if he found you out, what tortures he could inflict on your mind and body by his sheer will alone, that daunting violent red lightsaber ending your life with a quick, painful strike.

This morning had amplified your fear for the masked Commander tenfold, making you thank the maker for the fact that you had never once been alone in the same room as him. To tell the truth you were only ever in the same vicinity as him when it was a base wide mandatory event, like at one of Hux’s overblown ‘inspirational’ speeches. Every other time a situation arose that would result in you being in the same room as him you made sure to order someone else in your department to do it. You knew it was an abuse of your power as Head of Admin and HR, and you did feel immensely sorry for the workers you sent straight into the lion’s den, but it made you feel safe knowing that you had the power to avoid him, be it with your wall or your changing of the staff schedules. It was a solid plan, one that had been working for the entirety of your time on the Starkiller Base, and you had lived here since it’s completion.

You suddenly chuckled to yourself, thinking that if this was a game of Hide and Seek you would be the undefeated champion…as long as you kept being the one hiding. This moment of levity brought your calm and focus back, putting the darkness this morning had brought behind you, you continued on, your head held high, confident in the fact that you were winning this game that Kylo Ren wasn’t even aware he was playing. From this moment on, today would be a good, quiet, uneventful day…but not until after you walked head first into a stormstrooper and almost breaking your holopad in the process.

  
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.” You apologized to the soldier whilst regaining your composure. You hoped they weren’t mad at you, some troopers on the base had been known for their tempers. But you couldn’t tell. They were, after all, wearing a helmet.

  
“No, no it’s all right…I wasn’t concentrating on were I was going.” He somewhat sheepishly replied. His body language becoming uncomfortable. Despite him being the victim of the head on collision, he seemed nervous.

  
“Hay, that’s my line.” You giggled in response, hoping to lighten the mood. Instantly his posture became lighter, and it dawned on you he was probably worried about angering you, after all you were a high ranking officer of the First Order and he was just a stormtrooper. Your smiled widened at the realization that you were both scared of pissing the other off. “But really, I am sorry for bumping into you, I hope I didn’t hurt you….uh…” You continued.

  
“FN-2187. And no you didn’t…at least now I can report that this armour works.” He joked whilst knocking on the chest plate of his uniform.

  
“Phasma will be pleased.” You laughed. You liked FN-2187, from his the sound of his voice you could tell he was very similar in age to you, he was probably quite new to being deployed on this base, probably hadn’t even seen his first battle and his joking with you made you feel like he was a nice person, probably someone you’d get along with outside of work.

  
“Phasma! Damn it! I’m gonna be late for this mornings briefing…I’m sorry, I’ve got to…” He started quickly, clearly flustered. You knew Phasma, and you knew how much she hated being kept waiting. If FN-2187 was branded as a latecomer this early in his career it would surely dampen his future prospects within the Order.

  
“No please by all means go, I know she has severe punishments for late troopers.” You stepped out of the way, letting him past. He started down the corridor with a brisk jog, before turning back to you.

  
“It was nice to meet you Lieutenant Colonel.” He waved.

  
“L/n. Y/n l/n. And nice to meet you too FN-2187.” You waved back, smiling once more to yourself as you watched him run away, before realizing once again that you too were in fact offensively late for work.

  
“Oh Kriff!” You yelled before also running down the corridor, ignoring the faces other workers were giving you because of your loud profanity, and making doubly sure not to run into any more distractions.

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You finally made it to your office thirty minutes later than expected, you told yourself that all of the misfortunes this morning was a test of your resolve, and it was all worth it after making a potential new friend. You would have to make sure to meet up with FN-2187 sometime, get to know him better. It couldn’t hurt to have more friends on the base. Maybe you’d eventually find one you shared your interest in books that weren’t from the non-fiction section of the library.

You walked through your department, proud of the fact that everyone who was supposed to be there was there. Even if you couldn't be the perfect First Order member, you knew that your workers were. You couldn't help but feel like your department was the best that Starkiller had to offer, but then again, every department head probably thought that. As you walked through a spattering of “Good morning” and “Oversleep again?” became a pleasant hum as you made your way to your office.

Luckily for you, no-one was waiting outside your office, unlike last time you were late. You cringed at the memory, of you running up to your office with a line of people all waiting you see you. You remember coming up with the excuse that you had dropped your holopad out a window. You hated having to lie about why you were behind schedule, it always felt so cheap and dirty, like you were in the wrong. It didn’t help that your excuses were always very poor. In fact your inability to come up with a plausible lie on the spot had caused the people you were telling it to, to come to conclusion that you were sleeping with someone on the base and were trying to hide it. You would have been fine with it, if only they hadn’t decided that the most logical candidate for your secret lover was General Hux. It had made every time he had come to your department very awkward, the winks, giggles and smiles that your co-workers thought you didn’t see were enough to make you want to jump straight into the base's core. The rumor wasn’t helped by the fact that Armitage Hux was an old family acquaintance, his father and yours served together in the Empire long ago, they considered the other to be their blood brother and after your father took you in, Hux would often get saddled with looking after you, much to his dismay. Surprisingly though, after a while a bond of sorts did form between the two of you, Hux never once tried to rid himself of your company, something he had done so coldly to others who had tried to get close to him and now that your father was gone, Hux was the closest thing you had to family. So the idea of being sexually involved with him was ludicrous to say the least. The only reason you let the rumours permeate was so you could keep your secret safe. You just hoped Hux didn't know about them.

Settling down behind your desk, you hooked your holopad into the main computer and pulled up your schedule. Thankfully it seemed like today would be quiet, there was no mandatory staff meetings, no special requests from higher ups, no messages from your workers calling in sick. It looked like another day behind your desk doing paperwork and responding to messages.

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You were halfway through a response to Lieutenant Colonel Zach about his sectors issues when a knock came from your door. You flipped open the security camera to see who the visitor was. The flash of bright orange hair was enough to tell you exactly who it was. You wondered for a moment if your thinking about him too much had subconsciously called him to you, before shaking your head in dismissal and pressing the button to let Hux in.

Hux strode confidently into your office, the expression on his face told you that this wasn’t a random social call he was here for business. This confused you greatly, you were absolutely sure that you didn’t have a meeting or job scheduled with him today, and he had never once decided to, on a whim, come and see you at work. To him work and social lives were to be kept separate. You could think of no reason for him to be here. Looking at his expression once more, you realized it wasn’t just his business face, it was the expression he pulled when something didn’t go his way. Something had happened this morning, and Hux wasn’t happy about it.

  
“General Hux? What’s wrong?” You inquired as he finally came to stand in front of you. He wasn’t one for sitting down in another's office, he felt it belittled him, and took away his authority. Even in front of you, he refused to seem weak.

  
“Lieutenant Colonel l/n I need access to employee housing records.” Hux instructed with a monotone voice whilst mindlessly looking through some files you had on your desk.

  
“What why?” You asked perplexed, you didn’t understand why he would need access to everyones sleeping arrangements. Your question caused Hux to focus on you again, he quirked an eyebrow in annoyance at you.

  
“Because I asked for them Lieutenant Colonel.” He hated being questioned, you knew this, and you knew that his position of General gave him clearance to look into those files, but it felt invasive to you, and slightly creepy. He must have a important reason you thought to yourself.

  
Sighing you turned your attention back the the computer. You put your current work to the side and pulled up the Base Employee Database. Every single piece of information the First Order had about it’s Starkiller workers was in the database, including yours and Hux’s.

  
“Okay got it.” You affirmed once the housing files were up. Hux swiftly joined you behind your desk, leaning slightly forward to read the files. “Is it a specific employee you need or just everyones living situations?” There was **alot** of housing files to go through. You were sure if he asked for all of the files it would take the entire day to transfer over to his personal holopad.

  
“I need everyone who lives in LS-203.” He answered, batting your hand away from the computer and finding the file himself, his eyes started scanning the file. You however went cold. Turning your head away from the screen you looked at Hux.

  
“LS-203? That’s one of the Lieutenant Colonel sections…that’s my section Hux.” Concern coated your voice, you were unsettled by this invasion of privacy before, but now it was your privacy. Your home. “What do you need the Lieutenant Colonel's for?” You asked. Hux must have heard the concern in your voice, and he turned his gaze to you in response.

  
“I don’t.” He replied. Fear was starting to seep into your veins. Hux was the highest ranking person on the ship, if he didn’t want the information why would he be here. Better yet, who could convince him to get the information for them?

  
“Wha…” You started to ask, Hux however cut you off before you could even finish the word.

  
“The information, it is to be given to Kylo Ren.” Hux turns his gaze once more to the screen, quickly gathering all the data he needs, and starts sending it to his holopad.

  
“W…why…why would he need that information?” You felt as if the room was filling with water rapidly, it was enveloping you, threatening to drown you right then and there.

  
“He felt a disturbance in the Force this morning…originating from LS-203.” Hux doesn’t see the blood drain from your face or you white knuckling your chair. He’s too busy with the data he’s ripping from your computer, he’s too busy digging your grave.

  
A ding rings out like a thunderclap in the silent room, signifying that the files have been sent successfully. He promptly disconnects his holopad from the desk thanking you for your cooperation, you think he tells you not to worry, that it’s probably nothing, but you can’t be sure, you’re too numb to process his words right now.

You had fucked up.

Kylo Ren was coming.

Now you had to fortify your walls, because an attack was imminent.


	3. Preparing for War

You sat silently in your desk chair, with your hands desperately clasping at your head. Panic mixed with dread, that was all you could feel at this point in time. It was like the whole galaxy had stopped moving, and you were now frozen. It is said that before you die your whole life flashes before your very eyes. Days long since past return to you like an old friend, reminding you of your warmest, happiest moments. The people you loved and lost all returning once more, surrounding you in a comforting blanket of bliss, all whilst guiding you, helping you make that most important of crossings easier. You would have welcomed that right now, the visage of your mother and father smiling at you again, telling you not to worry, that they were here for you and always had been, and finally you were all going to be a family.

But no, there was no flashing record of your life to calm your nerves, no familial warmth to ease your burden, there was no light ushering you into paradise. There was just you, sat behind your desk, stunned and silent. Wondering what you were going to do, wondering if there was anything you **could** do. For the first time ever you thought about the ramifications of your deception. Not the personal ones that would effect you, you quite often thought of those, in fact they often kept you up at night. No this time you thought of what your secret being revealed would do to the people you cared about. And how your life ending could possibly mean the same for them as well.

Everyone in your department, anyone who would call you their boss, people with whom you had worked with for as long as you had been here, they would be brought into suspicion. Every order they had taken from you would be brought into question over the authenticity of it, the First Order would examine your instructions meticulously, trying to find any secret hidden messages, any hints that the Force could have been used to make them do things they shouldn’t do. They would all be branded traitors and pariahs if any orders were found to be untrustworthy. And that would be the best possible outcome for them.

Next to be put under the First Orders suspicion would be your friends around base, though you could only name a few, they would most definitely be forcefully detained, questioned relentlessly about their relationship with you and what other secrets you could have been keeping, they would be tortured until they gave you up, and then tortured some more when they pleaded their innocence and ignorance, begging the higher ups that they didn’t know you were Force Sensitive. Of course they would all be telling the truth when they said they didn’t know, but that wouldn’t matter to the First Order. Their association with you would surely blacken their names, and quite possibly cost them their lives.

But worst of all, the one who would suffer the most because of your secret, would be Armitage. After all he was your oldest and closest friend, you treated him as family, and him vise-versa. Having the truth exposed would ruin him. In every sense of the word. Not only would his connection to a Force Sensitive call into question the legitimacy of his rising through the ranks, possibly causing him to loose his position as General, until he could prove otherwise, he like everyone else would be under suspicion of being a traitor to the First Order. It killed you to think about Hux loosing his power, you knew how much effort he had put into becoming the General. The countless hours he had spent studying every single subject he found to be useful, the days he had spent hauled up in his room desperately trying to memorize old Empire strategies and improve upon them, the result of which would cause him to forget to eat or even sleep. You remember how hard it was for him to get the older members of the First Order to take him seriously, to stop treating him like little Hux jr, to make them see that he was the future of the First Order, that he was something to be respected and feared, and above all else obeyed. He absolutely made sure the First Order new how important he was to the cause, and how much they needed him.

This eased your conscious a little, you knew that if the worst were to happen, Hux wouldn’t be executed, he was too valuable to the First Order. But then what would the rest of the higher ups make him do in repentance, once you were found out? This was one of the main reasons you had never told him your secret, you knew from experience how much he despised traitors. You feared him turning on you, branding you an enemy of the First Order, and calling for your head. You knew if it was a choice between his position and you, the First Order would win out, despite your history and whatever meaning you held in each others lives. The First Order **was** his life, you were just someone who happened to be in it. You knew Hux wouldn’t class your secret as one of your many y/n-isms, he wouldn’t sigh and roll with it, like that time you got him a cat for his birthday. No, he would hate you with every fiber of his being, you would become less than dirt to him, nothing but scum to be disposed of and if given the option he would see to your execution himself. A death sentence from Hux would hurt much more than anything Kylo Ren could do to you.

But then of course, there was the reverse side of the coin. You had thought so much about what would happen if you were branded a traitor, that you never stopped to wonder what would happen to your life if the Order decided you were useful.  
Your back straightened in your chair, tense hands letting go of your hair, as this new possible future started to play out in your mind. Of course you would still be detained and interrogated, that was true of any scenario you came up with, but it never crossed your mind that the First Order would believe you when you told them you were no traitor, and then when no evidence of betrayal or working with the enemy was found, you would be released from suspicion, and free to be used as the First Order’s new weapon.

What would become of you then? Would you be forced to become Kylo Ren’s apprentice? How long would you be able to keep your soul untainted from the Dark Side? You had chosen your current position within the First Order very carefully, you may have stood for many of the First Orders goals, like bringing peace and order to the hectic galaxy you were born into, but you never once wanted to hurt someone, something you were sure would be ruined very quickly after Ren got you under his control. You would be forced out of your department, away from the people you had spent years getting to know and care for, you would loose your name, rank and Hux, and slowly you would loose yourself. It would be you alone with Commander Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke, with the both of them weeding their way into your mind. How long would you be able to hold out before you became just like them? You would be feared by almost all of the people living on the Starkiller Base, people would run from you when walking down the corridors, friends would be to afraid to speak there minds around you lest you throw a tantrum like Kylo himself. You would be alone on the base, desperately trying to cling onto the emotions that were deemed unworthy of the Dark Side, no more joy, compassion, or love. You would be bound to Ren’s side, forbidden to move unless he said so. No more shore leave to Curoscant, and their famous shopping district. No more walks through the snowy forest outside your window when you needed to relax. You would be bound by invisible chains to the man you had spent years fearing and avoiding. You would be in a living hell until the moment your spirit broke and you became just like Kylo Ren. A cold, distant, monstrous thing, who had no qualms in obliterating an entire village of people, no matter age or gender, all for the First Order’s sake. A person so alone in the world, they can not feel anymore. You would become worse than a monster, and sure, maybe you would help the First Order bring peace to the galaxy at last, but you wouldn’t be y/n l/n anymore, you wouldn’t even be human.

 **NO!** You refused to bow to either option. Yes, you were afraid, more afraid then you had ever been, but you were not going to back down and submit to those bleak, unloving futures. You had spent the past ten years of you life hiding, closing yourself off from the pull of the Force, and you had mastered that. You had even managed to deceive the Supreme Leader himself with your skills, the greatest force in the Dark Side, had no idea you even existed. Kylo had only managed to pick up on your discretion by pure luck and his close proximity to you. You were sure not even Luke Skywalker himself, would be able to find you when you built your walls. So you were not going to fall at this final hurdle. You would not cower in fear from the masked creature that currently stalked the halls of the base looking for the blip in the Force. You would fight, and you would win!

Turning your chair to face your computer once more, you tucked stray strands of hair behind your ears and got to work. You pulled up the files Hux had taken just minutes ago and studied them. If you could determine the order Kylo Ren would interrogate the suspects you could figure out how much time you had to prepare, to strengthen your walls.  
LS-203 was your barracks, it housed the Lieutenant Colonels on this section of the Starkiller Base, and from the files you could tell there were quite a few of them. You figured that the most logical option for Kylo’s would be to go down the list in the order that it was already in. So all you needed to do was find out where you placed on said list and calculate how much time you had to spare before Kylo got to you. You would also have to factor in how long it would take for him to get that information in the first place. Knowing that he had asked Hux to get the information meant that his most likely position was the main control hub for the entire base, where Hux’s office was located. Having made the journey from your office to Hux’s many times before, you knew it took 35 minutes at a minimum, and that was if the turbolifts and shuttles were clear, so that was a start.

You scrolled quickly through the list until you found your name:

 

>   
>  y/n l/n  
>  Security number P5691060883  
>  Lieutenant Colonel and Head of Administrations & Human Resources  
>  Living Sector : LS-203, room 3A7

Curiosity getting the better of you, you accessed the file. To your surprise it had a brief history written about you, about your home on Naboo, information on your mother, your father, what the Order classed as your strengths and weaknesses. Your entire life and persona had been compiled into this small file, giving anyone with the access to it a somewhat detailed look into you. You shuddered at the thought, but you knew it needed to be this way, the First Order couldn’t have any possible threats running around it’s most treasured base. But still, you wondered, was it really necessary for it to have your measurements on file.

Scrolling back up through the file you counted the names before yours. You recognized many of them, having been to countless meetings with the other Lieutenant Colonels and becoming friends with a few of them, you felt sorry for the grueling they were about to receive from Commander Ren, and a part of you, the part that was nosy, really wanted to peek at the files. Who knew what juicy bits of information you could find in them. You decided against it however, if you didn't like the idea of your information being invaded it would be hypocritical of you to look at others, plus you didn’t need more guilt on your brain when Kylo found you, it wouldn’t put the integration in your favour.

When you finally came back to the top of the file, you found you were seventeenth in line. Now you just had to figure out where everyone was and how long it would take to get from one person to the next. You also realized that the actual interrogation would probably only last a couple of minutes, the Commander would be able to quickly sense whether or not someone was capable of using the Force. Hopefully he wouldn’t push the interrogation further and start digging through your brain, that would complicate things, you would of course hide any and all thoughts of your meditation from him, but using the Force that way had always caused a great strain on your mind. If it came down to that you knew for a fact you would be too exhausted to do anything else for the rest of the day.

So taking in consideration the short amount of time he would be spending with each person, you deduced that you had five hours before he found you. A faint smile graced your lips, if an hour of meditation a day could build a wall to hide you adequately from the universe, an extra five hours would create a fortress, one of which no Force user, no matter how powerful, would be able to break. With this sanctuary you were about to create, you were absolutely positive you could walk straight up to Supreme Leader Snoke, and he wouldn’t even know you were there.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now you had to prepare for the next five hours. Using your power as Department Head, you pawned off your less urgent work to unsuspecting employees, you ignored the cries of protest from your workers, and carried on, you felt bad about it, you cared about your reputation as the “nice one to work for”, so you made a point to not abuse your power that often. But times of emergency negated your need to be liked. You also got a lower level worker to get you some food and something to drink, as you had missed breakfast and now would be missing lunch. You knew that after the meditation and face to face meeting with Kylo Ren you would be starving, and there was always the chance it could be your last meal. Finally you ordered the entire department not to disturb you. You claimed you were doing important work for General Hux, a statement that roused a few raised eyebrows and nudges between your workers, and that if anyone other than the General or higher came looking for you to direct them to Officer Vyna. The loud groan Vyna let out and the way he slumped his shoulders in defeat would have made you chuckle if the situation wasn’t so dire.

Once you were sure your orders would be obeyed you locked yourself inside your office. You took in the view from your office, it wasn’t as good as the one from your bedroom window, but it was still beautiful. From this spot on the base you could see the mountains, and the shuttle launch area in the distance, the ships taking off looked like mechanical birds, and painted the sky with speedy black shapes. Once again you found yourself wishing for that freedom, the ability to fly away whenever you wanted, to be able to explore the universe outside this base. You turned briskly away from the window, you needed to focus on the dangerous futures you were facing, and not fantasize about adventures in the great wide somewhere, this wasn’t one of your fantastic tales from your childhood, there was no adventure to be had, and no magical Prince to come and save you.

You sat back down behind the desk, you couldn’t risk Kylo bursting in and seeing you meditating in the middle of your office floor, checking once more from your computer that your door was locked, you leaned back in you chair, head resting against the soft black back, you let out a breath you hadn't been aware you were holding, your soul was filled with determination, you were ready. You closed your eyes, and started to build, you had never built on top of a already there wall, you had always waited for one to dissipate and run it's course before creating another. A part of you was excited to see what this would bring out of you, what power could you truly wield if your mind was put to it. Slowly your tiny safe walls became enormous battlements, your mind and will pushing them to become stronger. Your simple bubble of peace that kept you tucked away and hidden became a impenetrable fortress of safety, but that wasn't enough. You kept building and building and building. Every time you thought you could be done, you kept going, willing the shield to get bigger, to get stronger. Even when you mind screamed at you to stop, when you thought you couldn’t take the pressure anymore you kept going. This was your life on the line, you refused to have a single crack in your foundations. You would win this battle against Kylo Ren, you would not loose this life you had created for yourself. You thought desperately of the things you wanted to protect. No needed to protect. Your workers, your friends, the stormtrooper FN-2187 that you had met this morning, and Armitage Hux, all of them were cheering you on, willing you to continue, to **win**.

With a final triumphant push you finished your castle, truly it was a masterpiece of Force manipulation. You eyes shot open, and you slumped slightly in your chair as your stomach growled in protest at you, you body was weak from the meditation, and you so desperately wanted to sleep, but you knew you couldn’t. You were positive you looked a mess now, all the work you had done this morning to look nice today had been undone. Your hair had fallen in your face and sweat was starting to come through your heavy jacket. You had truly pushed yourself to the limit, but you were absolutely confident in what you had achieved.  
Shrugging out of your sweaty jacket, you glanced at the time, another smile appeared on your face, you had half an hour before the Commander would be at your office, just enough time to savor your meal. Greedily you pulled your meal closer, opening the dish, you didn't care that it wasn't the best thing on the menu, it was your victory meal, your triumph realised, you quickly scooped up a fork full and shoved it un-gracefully in your mouth, etiquette be damned this was the sweet taste of a job well done.

Knock….Knock…..Knock.

You jumped at the sound of the loud knocking at your office door. With the fork still in your mouth you pressed the button to see who had disturbed you, you prayed it was someone who had simply ignored your "do not disturb" order. But you were quickly learning that today was not your lucky day.

It was Kylo Ren.


	4. The First Move

It was him, it was Kylo Ren. The feared commander of the Knights of Ren, he was here, he was early, and he was waiting outside your office door.

The tall dark imposing figure waited, as you stared in awe at him through your computer monitor. Though the thick black cloak and heavy metal helmet he wore hid his true visage and emotions to the outside world, you could tell from the way he stood at your door, the wide stance and the balled up fists, that he kept clenching and un-clenching over and over again told you he was not in the mood today. Never in your wildest nightmares did you ever imagine your first meeting with the intimidating figure being so outright hostile, you felt as if a ravenous rancor was waiting to strike you down and devour you whole.

Another loud intruding knock came from your door. That’s when you snapped out of your haze. You were ready. You would not take two steps back and become the quivering mess you were just a few mere hours ago. You were stronger than this. You had avoided detection by the First Order for ten years, you had honed your skills to become nothing but air to other Force users, and you had learned very quickly what to say to your superiors in order to gain their trust and deter any suspicion might fall upon you.  
‘But this isn’t like the other times.’ You thought solemnly to yourself. This wasn’t a sneaky lie you told to people when you where running late, or sneaking out to take a stroll through the wintry forest outside. This was war.

You replaced the metal container lid to your meal and set it aside. Quickly sweeping your hair back into a respectable position as you pulled your jacket back on. You would be strong, you told yourself. Kylo Ren would not beat you, you didn’t care if he was the strongest Force user in the galaxy, it didn’t matter. Your unwavering passion to survive made you just as formidable as him. With each step you took towards the door you felt your confidence returning and rising to new heights. You felt powerful. Having the knowledge that you were in fact the person he was searching for was oddly exhilarating, you knew something that Kylo Ren nor Supreme Leader Snoke knew. You were starting to understand why Hux coveted the position of General, he was always telling you that having knowledge gave him power and you were now inclined to believe him. You made a mental note to yourself to apologise to Hux for all the times you had called him a ‘know it all’. And with a deep breath you reached out your hand and opened the door.

You eyes were met with a black clothed torso. In an instant they darted up to meet the cold black and chrome helmet. You had never realised how tall he was, pictures and video did not do his height justice, the image of this black draped giant would have any other member of your department quivering in fear. However the height difference between you did not dissuade your new found confidence, for he was easily the same height as Hux, maybe an inch or two taller, but it was nothing special, Hux had always dwarfed you in size so it was nothing new to you. If anything you were perturbed that many of the high ranking officials on this base seemed to completely dwarf you.

‘Maybe you grow a foot in size every time you rank up.’ You smirked to yourself, completely forgetting for one brief moment what situation you were in. You once again focused on the commander, and straightened your expression out before finally speaking your first words to the subject of countless nightmares.

“Commander Ren, I’ve been expecting you.” You articulated with what you hoped was strength in your voice.

“Then why did it take so long to open the door?” His augmented voice chided, as he walked straight past you, and stood directly in the center of your office. You kicked yourself mentally, of course he would notice how long you took to answer the door. You decided to tell him the truth of the situation.

“You’re right, I apologise, you see I was actually eating when you arrived so I needed to clear up. Sorry once again Commander.” You stated matter-of-factly as you once again took your seat behind your desk, whilst also motioning to the food container on the side of your desk.  
Kylo just stared at the food container as if it were the one being interrogated, you wondered if he wasn’t expecting you to talk back like that, was someone calmly explaining themselves to him something new for the commander? You didn’t dare ask. You had already invited the ravenous rancor into your office, you figured it would be wise not to poke it with a stick.

“Please sir, take a seat.” You motioned to him to take a seat, suddenly his head whipped round from your food, directly to you and despite the fact he was wearing a helmet as thick as a Hut’s hide you could tell he was giving you an incredulous look.

“No. This will not take long.” He said bluntly, before turning his back to you and surveying the room. You slowly retracted your outstretched hand, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance. You weren’t aware that people with manners had died out. You sighed leaning back in your chair slightly, not enough to relax but you weren’t sitting on pin needles either. You decided the safest course of action would be to let Kylo set the pace, let him do whatever he needed, you just had to keep quiet and sit there and then this whole ordeal would be over, and you could go back to your relatively happy normal life.

Kylo stood for what seemed like an eternity in the center of your office, unmoving and silent. You weren’t even 100 percent sure he was even breathing. You had no idea what he was doing…until it hit you. Like a lightning bolt in a heavy storm. He was meditating, just like you had been minutes before he arrived. Kylo was using the Force to scan the room, to scan you.

‘No wonder he was early if all the interrogations go like this.’ You thought to yourself. You had to admit it was impressive, he had managed to investigate the officers before you much quicker and throughly than you had expected. Then again a high level of excellence was demanded from a Knight of Ren. Even hidden behind your castle walls you could feel his power emanating from his very being and encapsulating the room. It felt as if he was everywhere all at once, invading the space, asserting dominance over the entire office, no, the entire department, he was making it his. His connection with the Force was so much stronger than you had ever imagined, you could feel his essence ghosting past your walls, it made your whole body shiver and goosebumps to form all over your body. You chastised yourself for having such a reaction to his abilities, it wasn’t that you were mad at yourself for quietly trembling in the intimidating mans presence, but it was more the fact that you couldn’t tell whether you were terrified or intrigued.

You decided to focus on controlling your shakes. You would have time to ponder on the implications of your reaction after you were in the clear. Your eyes once again landed on the towering figures back, however his posture had changed. Whereas before he was stood proud and tall, shoulders broad, feet apart, now he was trembling, his hands once more were going in and out of fists. The atmosphere in the room changed too, before it was awkward and tense, now all you could feel was rising tension and anger, it didn’t take a Force sensitive to figure out he was furious and ready to explode.

**CRASH**

You watched in abject terror as Kylo threw the remains of you meal, metal container included, through the large windows of your office. Suddenly it wasn’t his power causing the shivers to run through you it was the snow being blown directly into the room. You stared dumbfounded at the shattered remains of your office windows, unsure of what to do. You didn’t have much time to ponder your options as Kylo stormed back to the front of your desk and slammed his hands down, hard.

“Why can’t I see you.” He asks, the modulation on his voice becomes more sinister than before. The silver chrome eye piece staring directly into your eyes. Once again you knew exactly what facial expression he was concealing behind that metal helmet, absolute rage. Suddenly all of your nightmares were coming true, and as you eyed the crossaber hilt on his belt you felt your confidence jump out the window. Fearing for your life and unable to look away, you squeaked out a reply.

“I…I’m s..ssorry. What?” Tears threatened to fall down your cheeks, but you refused to cry. You had never once cried on this base and you were not going to start now, especially when you knew it would only enrage the man more. However you had already crossed that line with your answer. Kylo bound forward his strength easily able to flip the table out of his way, from the corner of your eye you saw it land, glass shattering, sparks flying everywhere, it was completely destroyed. He stopped dead in front of you, his hands gripping the armrests of your chair, his face dangerously close to yours as he bent down to face you. You were trapped between the chair and him, but despite the fear, your eyes still never left his helmet.

“I’ll ask again. Why. Can’t. I. See. You?” His voice was eerily calm, but loud. It threatened to split your head open with a fiery migraine with every syllable. Even after he had asked again he didn’t move, you were still trapped, no reprieve, no space, no chance of escape.

You frantically wracked your brain, trying to figure out what he was asking you. You were right here, clearly he could see you, so what was his problem?…

‘Oh’ You thought. ‘Oh no’ The realisation dawned on you like a ton of bricks. You had succeeded in your mission. You were hidden, safely tucked up inside your castle, undetectable and unreachable. You were invisible to Force users. In your panic induced state you hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions. You were so desperate for Kylo to leave you alone, to clear you of suspicion, you didn’t stop to realise that your one defense only works if there are more people in the room than you, you were invisible in crowds, in the hustle and bustle of every day life on the Starkiller Base you couldn’t be found. But here you were sat in your office, with the strongest Force user you knew, completely undetectable.

To say you had fucked up was an understatement. Today had gone from bad to worse, to a little better, and now you where at a short walk to the gallows. You would have to choose your next words very carefully otherwise, you might be joining you broken table on the floor. You knew he was waiting for a reply, his grip was getting tighter by the second, it felt as if any moment the chair would snap in two. You breathed deep, it was now or never. With what little confidence you had left in your body and soul, looked him straight in where his eyes should be, and opened your mouth.

“Maybe you’re not looking hard enough.”


	5. The Unyeilding Tempest

“Maybe you’re not looking hard enough.” You knew the moment those words left your lips you had sealed your fate. Kylo let out a ferocious roar of anger and frustration, as he threw your chair down, causing you to spill out onto the floor. That’s when you saw him reach for his saber. He gripped it tight, almost with the same grip he had on your chair, for a brief moment you wondered if the crossgard would break under the immense pressure, and save yourself from his wrath. But if today had taught you anything, you had no luck in this world, and as the saber sprung to life, everything in the room was painted in a deep red glow.

  
“Are you mocking me?!” The tyrant seethed, somewhat like a petulant child you thought. He stalked forward, and with every jackbooted step towards you, you scrambled backward, trying to keep enough of a distance from him, whilst also wracking your brain to find a way out of this situation. You could drop the shield completely, but that would reveal your secret, an option that still terrified you. You could run, the office door was unlocked, all you would need to do is run past the hulking man with the death sword and the force powers and….Okay so running wasn’t an option, besides if you ran it would cement your fate as a traitor, and you would spend the rest of your life being hunted down, never able to call another place home, never having friends or family, you would be completely alone, that was worse than death for you. One final option would be to poke holes in your shield, crack the door open a bit, and let Kylo see you. But that would bring up a whole new host of problems, of course it would, it would be like popping into the room out of nowhere, and then expecting him to just shrug and leave you be. It wasn’t going to happen.

  
As your back hit the your office wall, you briefly thought about jumping through the broken window, falling to your death had to be better than the torture of a lightsaber blade, but your attention was quickly taken back by the imposing figure in front of you.

“Answer me” Kylo demanded.

  
“No.” You finally replied. You realised that the time for over thinking things was over, you had to be in the moment, to pay attention to every little detail Kylo was giving out otherwise your head would roll.

  
“No!” He snapped, raising his saber as if to strike. You quickly threw your hands up in front of your face, as if to apologize.

  
“No, I’m not mocking you!!!” You promptly yelled. “I’m not mocking you I swear!” You cried out. At this point you felt utterly pathetic, something you hadn’t felt since the day you’d lost your mother, you were but a sniveling little child afraid of what would happen next. It made you angry, it made the last 10 years of your life seem meaningless, everything you had done to strengthen not just your mind but your soul, had been stripped away by this crippling fear. It was moments like this that made you question whether the First Order was the right place for you.

  
As you stared up through your arms at the imposing figure in front of you, you were thankful that he hadn’t dealt the final blow. You wondered if he was taking pleasure in your quivering form curled up on the floor in front of him. It reminded you very much of Hux, and whenever he disciplines his underlings. You’d always hated that about him, you hated the fact that he took pleasure in demeaning other people, no matter what rank of class you were, people were still people, and now it was another thing to add to the ‘reasons I hate Kylo Ren’ list.

  
It was in that moment your nerve came back, if you were to die here, in your office, you would at least die standing, not pleading for your life like some unwashed Bantha fodder.

Keeping your hands raised in a sign of good will, you slowly rose to your feet, all the while praying that your legs didn’t give out on you.

  
“Commander Ren, I know why you’re upset, General Hux informed me of the situation this morning, but I can assure you, I am not the one you are looking for.” You were shocked by the amount of strength your voice still had, you hoped it would be enough to calm the beast somewhat.

  
To your complete and utter relief the Commander deactivated his lightsaber, you weren’t going to fully question why he had decided to spare you in this moment, your mind went back to earlier when you contemplated whether he was impressed by you standing up to him, but then again without his facial expressions to read, it was very hard to tell what exactly the man was thinking, this was frustrating to no end, however you were not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Now the only obstacle left was to get Kylo to leave you alone, a task that would be difficult as the man still held his hilt tight as if ready to strike at a moments notice. Your silent thinking was broken by the Commanders augmented voice.

  
“Why would Hux, give you that information, you are not important.” His blunt words cut you, you knew you weren’t anything special to the First Order per say, but you were head of this whole department, hell if it wasn’t for you and your employees you were sure the base would probably cease to function. This blow to your ego, caused your eyebrow to twitch in annoyance, if it were anyone else disrespecting you and your job you would have chewed them out, like you had done before with numerous unhappy transfers to your department, but once again you found yourself holding back your true feelings in fear of this man you had only met today.

  
“Because when a member of the First Order comes and demands classified files, I’m going to want an explanation as to why, even if they are General Hux… A persons privacy must be protected, surely you can understand that.” You asserted whilst motioning to his mask.

  
“Then you understand the severity of the situation…and what it is you are accused of.” Kylo rolled his shoulders in tension.

  
“I do.” You stated as calmly as you could, silently you thanked Kylo for breaking the window and letting the snowy air in, otherwise you were sure you would be sweating profusely under his gaze.

  
Kylo took a step forward, closing the small distance between you and leaned his free hand on the wall beside your head. He dipped slightly, bringing his cold uncaring mask almost eye level with you. Your outstretched hands brushed the fabric of his shawl, the rough texture rubbed coarsely on your fingertips, heat was radiating off you both, a mixture of tension, anger and fear. This position you two were in could have been seen as intimate, one lover close to another, it was almost the type of scene you’d read about in your romance novels, almost.

  
Cold metal permeated through the layers of your clothes, as Kylo pressed his lightsaber hilt to your lower abdomen. His thumb precariously hovering over the activation switch. Your heartbeat thundered in your chest, the noise becoming so loud you were sure the Commander could hear it too.

  
“Good.” His voice was almost at a whisper, as he cocked his head slightly to get a better view of your fear stricken eyes. “Because I’m going to ask you one more time. Why can’t I see you?”

 

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“REN!!” Hux bellowed as he burst through the door to your office. Face red with pure rage, his veins in his neck and forehead bulging furiously, threatening to rupture at any moment. This sudden violent intrusion, caused Kylo to turn quickly to the intruding General, dropping his threatening stance and giving you space to breathe, literally and figuratively.

  
“What do you think you are doing?” Hux continued to yell, you knew how much Hux despised Kylo but you had never been privy to one of their stand offs, you’d only heard rumors from colleagues, and the very biased side of events that Hux had told you of, so deep down, a very small part of you wanted to see what was going to happen, morbid curiosity you guessed.

  
Hux came to stand between you and Kylo, squaring his shoulders and trying to seem intimidating to the force user. If he was squaring up to anybody else you would have felt sorry for the poor soul, but Hux against Kylo. You didn’t know who was more terrifying.

  
“What are you doing here?” The augment voice of Kylo sounded equal parts annoyed and aggravated.

  
“There were reports of a violent commotion coming from Lieutenant Colonel l/n’s office, I saw fit to investigate.” Hux stated matter-of-factly, that’s when you leaned slightly, to peek at your office door, and low and behold, several of your department workers were staring in on the scene, a mixture of concern and fear on their faces. One of them must have contacted Hux directly, you knew this base quite well, and if a regular security threat was issued there was no way the Head of Security would have sent it to Hux. The only people who knew of you close relationship to Hux was your team, they knew he would come to help, they had saved your life.

  
A small smile played on your lips, as you made eye contact with your terrified workers, you nodded slightly, trying in part to tell them they could leave but also show your thanks and gratitude. You would have to find a way to make it up to them after this was all over. As the small group vanished your turned you attention back to Hux and Kylo, they were seething now, you could practically cut the tension with a knife, however their aminosity towards each other came with a silver lining, they were distracted. It was if you were no longer here, their main priority was out ranking one another, which meant you could slowly open the door to your shield. Before it was impossible, there was no way it wouldn’t seem odd with you just suddenly having a presence in the room, but with Kylo occupied you could slowly open the door a crack, and let a part of your essence out. You could then theoretically blame his inability to see you on the stress of the situation. You steeled yourself, it had to be worth a try, you concentrated on what you wanted, and slowly opened yourself to Kylo…

“You saw fit, to investigate? Why? This girl is nothing, what benefit would helping her bring you?” Kylo questioned, the tone of voice getting under Hux’s skin, causing the vein in his neck to once again pop.

  
“None what so ever, however I have to intervene when **you** are involved. The damage to the station and my personnel from your last little outburst has still not been rectified, and I will not have a repeat of that situation. Or are you completely incapable of containing yourself? I would have thought you were raised better than that.” Hux coldly stated, as a small smug smile ghosted his lips.

  
“Do not test me, General.” Kylo took a step forward. “This girl has failed the interrogation, she is a threat to the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke, or do you wish to see this empire fall as your father did so many years ago.”

  
Hux turned to look at you, your eyes met briefly, and for the first time in your life you saw confusion in the young Generals eyes, yours however simply pleaded with your old friend for help.

  
“How?” Hux voice was sharp and quick, and attempt to hide is true emotions, you knew this trick of his quite well. Kylo simply cocked his head in confusion as the red head returned his gaze to him. “How did she fail the test?” Hux continued.

  
“Does it matter?” Kylo replied.

  
“He said he couldn’t see me, General Hux sir.” You piped up, not fearing the repercussions of speaking out of turn this time because your life was on the line. Both men quickly turned their gazes back to you, and for a moment you felt like a small bunny being corned by wolves.

  
“Couldn’t see her? What does that mean Ren?” Hux questioned.

  
“She has no presence Hux, every living thing in the universe has a presence in the force” Kylo stalked towards you, once again becoming uncomfortably close, Hux eyed him wearily as he stopped in front of your face. “Only a very powerful force sensitive could hide from it, from me, and when I look at her I feel….” Kylo hesitated, and that’s when you felt it… No, that’s when you felt him.

  
What little presence you felt from Kylo before, was nothing compared to this. He was pure emotion, all rage, and hatred, a burning fire of sadness and despair, but underneath it all was unadulterated lust and desire, a lust for power, more power than he already had, and a frightening desire for freedom and belonging. A desperate need to be wanted and needed. It was almost too much for you to bare, it was if an unyielding tempest had given life to a soul which was now pulling you in, devouring you whole, and never ever giving you back.

  
The cruel pounding of your heart had returned, it was now accompanied by your heavy breathing. However it was no longer fear causing you heart to want to burst, it was intensity. You had never felt this before, it was like a thousand different cocktails of drugs were coursing through your veins. It was exhilarating.

You stared up at Kylo and were stunned he could feel it too, though you couldn’t see his face you knew he felt it as well because his breathing matched yours completely, even his entire stance had changed to match yours. But why? Did he not feel this all the time? It was his presence you were feeling, so why would it effect him so much, unless….

  
“How?” Kylo whispered. You stared up at the man, your train of thought lost, unable to answer him for you had no answers, and even if you did, you were unsure whether you’d be able to speak them. “How can I see you?” He continued his voice lost and confused.

  
You opened your mouth, not knowing what you were going to say.

  
“What?” Hux interrupted, placing himself between you and Kylo once more. Instantly the immense pressure was lifted from you and you caught your breath. You looked drastically between the two men, unsure of what to do now. “Let me guess you can see her now?” Hux snidely remarked.

  
“Yes.” Kylo replied, his masked gaze never leaving yours.

  
“And…Is she the one we’re looking for or not?” Hux was growing impatient you could tell from his tone of voice. You didn’t care however. You were too busy trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Did you fuck up? Did you let too much of yourself out?

  
“I…Yes…No….I’m not sure, what….” Kylo rambled, a small voice in the back of your mind thought it cute. That thought was quickly cut short when the Commander regained his composure. “No General Hux, she’s not the one we’re looking for.” He stated coldly, a mixture of utter relief and disappointment ran through you. You weren’t disappointed about being in the clear, you were disappointed it was over.

  
“Right then, don’t you think you should get to the other suspects then Ren?” Hux commanded from your side.

  
“Yes.” Kylo quickly turned from you and stomped away. He stopped briefly at the door, “General, Lieutenant Colonel.” His courteousness unsettled you slightly, it was completely out of character for him you thought, when suddenly a faint voice of a man you’d never heard before whispered in your mind. ‘I’ll be watching you l/n.’

  
Your head whipped round frantically looking for the source of the voice, but there was nothing, no-one except you, Hux and the ass end of Kylo walking out of the door.

Exhaustion finally caught up with you, causing your legs to buckle, and your body to fall heavily to the ground. Hux quickly caught you, using a strength to hold you up that you did not know he possessed. With the weight of the situation finally being lifted from you, you quickly hugged your dear friend, not caring about his policy towards socializing whilst on duty.

  
“Thank you.” You breathed. Clutching for dear life to Hux’s pristine uniform. The final shock for the day came, when Hux wrapped his arms around your back, pulling you tightly to his chest. You hadn’t realised how tense he was, until now.

  
“What was that all about y/n.” He inquired. His hand cupping the back of your head gently.

  
“I…I don’t know…” But you wanted to. You needed to. But that would have to wait, as the day was over and you were exhausted, the answers would have to wait, right now all you wanted was to go back to your room and sleep.


	6. Damage Control

A million moments seemed to pass as you clung to Hux’s jacket. It had become your anchor to reality, a beacon to save you from the nightmare of a day you had experienced. You didn’t care that it smelled of industrial strength washing powder, or that under your sweaty palms the fabric was course, rough and scratching your hands. You didn’t want to let go, not because of the man within the jacket, who was tentatively cradling you in his arms. No, it was because you knew, the moment you let go, you would leave this brief safe reprise and head straight back into the uncertain world Kylo Ren had left you in.  
Of course you knew that you were no longer in any immediate danger, Hux had helped see to that, and for that you would be eternally grateful to him, but you couldn’t fool yourself into believing this thing with Kylo was over. You had felt a connection to him when you dropped your shield. That you couldn’t deny. You also couldn’t deny the morbid curiosity you felt towards the Commander because of it. Maybe that was another reason why you didn’t want to let go of this moment, because once you did, the peaceful life you had found on the base would no longer be there. You cursed yourself for being cowardly, but when your new future revolved around Kylo Ren, could your fear really be chastised? 

“Y/n?” Hux coughed awkwardly. You broke free of the prison your mind was creating and looked up at your friend. A softness and concern you had never seen before painted his usually harsh features. Guilt washed over you. You had dragged him into this mess with you. You had tried so hard to keep the force separate from you and the people you cared for. But after running from it for 11 years, it had finally caught up to you. But you still hoped, with all you heart that you wouldn’t have to tell Armitage you had lied to him for all these years. 

‘Better coming from me, than someone else.’ You thought to yourself grimly. You decided to push that thought to the back of your mind. You would cross that bridge when you came to it. 

“Y/n can you stand?” Hux’s voice once again pulled you from your thoughts. You looked into his ice blue eyes and smiled. 

“Yeah, I think…” You sighed, as Hux finally let you go from his embrace and pulled you to your feet. He held on to your upper arms when you wavered a bit, unsure whether or not you were going to collapse again. “Thanks…again.” You muttered, feeling more like a new born deer than a respected Lieutenant of the First Order. Hux seemed to feel the same, as his hands lingered on your arms. You carefully placed one of yours over his. “Armitage.” Your use of his first name caused the General to pay even more attention to you, as if that were possible. “Really though. You saved my life, I could never….” You shook your head, the right words escaped you. How could you possibly convey what you were feeling right now, how much gratitude you felt for him. In the end you decided to forgo seriousness, after all today had been filled with it. Instead you decided on a joke, from your childhood growing up with Hux. “I guess you finally became my super space hero.” You quietly laughed. And for a second, you believed you saw Hux chuckle. The levity was short lived however, as Hux quickly dropped his hands and sighed. 

“Y/n, you can’t be making jokes at a time like this. You almost died.” He turned his back to you. You knew this tactic well, any time he didn’t want you to see his ‘weakness’ he would turn from you or anyone else in the room. But the tactic could not hide the somber tone to his voice. It worried you, not once had you seen Hux in this state before. Not even when his father died. You had always known him to repress his feelings, he claimed that it had helped him rise to power. So if an emotionless Hux had become a decorated war General, what could a emotion fueled Hux be capable of? Something deep inside you did not want to find out. 

“But I didn’t.” You smiled, once again trying to lighten the mood. You’d had enough surprises today, and an emotionally driven Armitage Hux was not something you had the strength to deal with right now. “Look, still standing, and all my fingers and toes are intact.” 

“Y/n!!” Hux yelled turning back towards you, his face red with anger. “That lunatic was going to kill you! He wanted to kill you!” His hands were gripping tight on you shoulders. “I’ve seen first hand what **his** rage does. I’ve had to clean up the pieces, and to know that it could have been you…I…” Your eyes widened at the realization of what Hux was admitting to. He’d always told you how much of a tolerable nuisance you were to him, but you had never realised that was his way of saying he cared.

“Hux, I…” You started, disbelief thick in your voice. 

“Lieutenant l/n!!” Your second in command Vyna burst through the door, his eyes wide with panic. “Are you alright? I heard yelling.” The tan skinned man looked quickly between you and Hux, who quickly dropped his hands, and straightened his rumpled suit jacket out. Instantly your concerned friend was replaced with the cold and unfeeling General. 

“Everything is fine, Officer….” Hux walked towards the now nervous Order member. You knew Vyna to be a calm, collected and confident man, who without a spec of doubt was completely the office flirt. So to see him shrink down and loose his cool, was just a surprise. It was the General Hux effect you thought, but then again, you had done the same thing in Kylo Ren’s presence. So maybe it was the reaction everyone had when confronted by someone of greater power and intimidation. 

“Korra sir, Second Lieutenant Vyna Korra.” Vyna bleated. His amber eyes desperately trying to look anywhere but Hux’s face. 

“Well ‘Second Lieutenant’ Korra, may I inquire as to what you think you are doing?” Hux cocked his head slightly, it was an intimidation tactic, he often pulled it out when he wanted to belittle someone and to make them think they were stupid. You felt instantly sorry for Vyna, he’d obviously come rushing in because of the yelling, it seemed everyone in the department was wound up tight and ready to burst, not just you. 

“I’m sorry sir…I…uh…heard yelling, and um wanted to see if…y/n….I mean Leuitenant Colonel l/n, was okay.” Vyna’s eyes met yours for a second, and you flashed him a grateful smile. If Hux was the closest friend you had ever had, Vyna was a close second. He was a few years older than you, and had come from a noble family that had joined the First Order in it’s early days. He’d also helped you more times than you could count when you had first gotten the position of Department Head. And through the years you had crafted not only a strong working relationship, but one of genuine friendship and camaraderie. His worry for you was touching, he’d always seemed more attuned with his emotions than other Order members, but once again you felt guilt, for dragging good people into the mess you had created for yourself. 

“And you thought that gave you reason enough to abandon your post and investigate the scene for yourself?” Hux chided Vyna. You cringed, Hux had a point, you had ordered the entire department to continue working no matter what, and the Order had some very strict rules against desertion of duties. It was up there with the rules about loyalty. You couldn’t count how many times someone had had disciplinary action come down upon them because of too many sick days. You were pretty sure the only time Order members are allowed to abandon their work stations is if the base is going to blow up, and you know that is never going to happen. 

“Well, I thought my boss being in trouble was more imperative than my duties sir. ” Vyna bluntly stated. You noted the vein in Hux’s forehead start to protrude again. In order to stop yet another fight from taking place you stepped in between the two. 

“General Hux, whilst I do believe leaving your post unattended, after being given strict instructions not to do so,” You glance at Vyna. “Should be treated seriously, I think it must be pardoned, if only for this one time.” Your strictly professional voice comes out. Everyone in your department knew that this voice meant you were serious, not many people took you lightly when you spoke to them with this tone. You just hoped Hux would be one of those people. 

“And why should I indulge this request?” Hux inquired. His eyebrow cocked up at you, as the vein seemed to diminish, if only by a minuscule amount. 

“Because General, without my people disobeying my orders, I would be dead.” You mouth fell into a serious line, and your eyes steeled into Hux’s. “Without Second Lieutenant Korra, and quite possibly some other members of my team leaving their posts to call **you** , Commander Ren would have killed me.” Vyna gasped taking a few steps back, he obviously hadn’t realised just how dangerous things had gotten in your office. Whereas you stayed steadfast, unblinking as you stared at Hux, daring him to punish Vyna for caring, just as he did. Armitage Hux was many things, but he was not a hypocrite. 

There was a beat of silence through the room, before Hux finally unclenched his jaw and side eyed Vyna. He turned briskly back to face your colleague once again, who automatically flinched in defense. 

“Well it would seem that in this case, your complete disregard of a superior officers orders has been beneficial to the the Order.” Hux acknowledged, his voice positively dripping with ego and pompousness. It took everything you had not to shake your head at him, but you knew this was as close to an apology as Hux could get, so you let his tone slide. 

“Thank you sir.” Vyna saluted the intimidating General, in an attempt to placate Hux even more. 

“No Vyna, thank you.” You smiled sweetly at the man, ignoring the look Hux shot you when you used his first name. Vyna dropped the salute and smiled back at you. 

“Don’t mention it, you’d do the same for any of us.” Vyna dismissed. And though it was true, you would have stepped in if it had been someone from your department or Hux, but still you felt greatly indebted towards the two men standing in front of you. 

“No you don’t understand, what you’ve done for me today, both of you, whether it was out of professional obligation,” You looked between the men you called friends, before continuing. “or genuine caring. It doesn’t change the fact that I am standing here, alive, because of you. So I **need** you to know, that I will never forget it. And I will never stop trying to repay either of you.” You tried your best to confide your emotions to them. Hoping they understood what you felt, and hoping that finally the fighting could stop for today. 

“I understand y/n.” Hux was the first to speak, shocking you when he dropped your title and last name. “And trust me, when I say. I will never let that happen again.” Hux’s voice had a weight to it, and you knew he meant every word. And despite your better judgment telling you Hux could never stand up to Kylo. You believed him. 

“Ditto.” Vyna smirked. Daring to become bold in front of Hux. You let out a laugh of relief as you shook your head at your comrade. “But what are we going to do about this mess?” He questioned. 

It was then that you finally took in the atrocious left overs of your office. Shattered glass littered the floor, sparks flew from both the wrecked computer and a light you hadn’t realised Kylo had struck with his lightsaber. Loose papers were strewn across the room, and your chair was cleaved in half, and smoldering. Another victim of the Commander’s blade. You rubbed your temples and sighed. 

“We’ll have to call maintenance down here, and an electrical engineer, for that.” You gestured to the broken desk. “And call about a replacement for my wrecked holopad, and the light, and the window…urh kriff me.” You groaned under your breath. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I can take care of that.” Vyna offered. You were about to refuse when Hux interjected. 

“Yes leave that to him, I’m sure he can handle this simple task.” 

You groaned, ‘so much for them getting along’, you thought to yourself. 

“Besides,” Hux continued, “You need rest, it’s been…a long day.” To his surprise you nodded, you were too tired to kick up another fuss, and insist you that because you had helped cause the damage, you should help clean it up. “Right then, Lieutenant Colonel l/n, please follow me, and I’ll arrange an escort to take you safely back to your room.” 

“Why do I need an escort?” You inquired. 

“I don’t trust Kylo.” Hux’s answer was simple and cold. You decided not to push the matter further, though something told you that Kylo’s declaration that you were safe for now was genuine. Then again, you didn’t know Kylo like Hux did. For all you knew, the Commander could have been lulling you into a false sence of security. Once again your found yourself simply nodding, silently agreeing to his demand. Hux seemed pleased with this as he turned to acknowledge Vyna, once more before leaving. “Second Lieutenant Korra.” 

Vyna replied with a quick salute once again. “General. y/n.” You smiled and nodded once more, silently saying goodbye to your friend as you followed Hux’s quick pace through your office door and out through the department. Every single pair of eyes was laser focus on you as you walked past. You smiled gently, trying to signal to your worried workers that you were in fact okay, and not at all in trouble. You knew the gossips that lived amongst your ranks would be having a field day because of this, and you worried what rumors would spring up now. You knew Hux coming to save you, would not help quell the rumor that you two where paramours. You were actually a hundred percent positive that this incident with Kylo Ren would in fact fan the flames, and you were not looking forward to the fallout. 

As you finally made it out of your department and to the floor’s turbolifts you realised Hux was still with you, and he had not yet called anyone to escort you to your barracks. 

“Uh, I thought you were going to call a trooper to escort me or something.” You inquired. Whilst waiting for the lift to arrive. 

“Would you prefer a trooper over me?” He replied, bluntly, his back straightening even more so than usual. Had he taken offense to your query? 

“No, it’s just. Don’t you have more important things to be doing?” You tried your best to not sound ungrateful. After today, and the amount of times you had unsuccessfully avoided starting fights, you were starting to question whether or not you were a people person after all. 

“No.” He simply stated, as he stepped into the now open lift. You followed him swiftly, and pushed the button to start your journey. Ignoring the looks and whispers from other Order members in the lift. 

The rest of your journey to your living quarters was done in silence. Though not from lack of trying, every time you opened your mouth to talk to Hux, your mind drew a blank. You wanted to say something, or ask him anything, but nothing came to mind. Not that Hux seemed to care, he simply walked quickly and steadily to your destination, occasionally he would glare at hapless workers who got in his path, but that was no different than usual. But you could not deny something was off. There was a tension between the two of you that was thick enough to cut with a knife, but you didn’t know why. 

The two of you walked up to the door of your home, and you quickly unlocked it and stepped inside, trying desperately to put an end to this nightmare of a day. You efforts were thwarted once more, when Hux reached out to touch your arm, it was brief and light, but it was enough to get you to stop and face him in the doorway. 

“Hux?” You questioned him. But his ice blue eyes were cast down, as if he was debating something internally. You were about to ask if he was okay but his eyes suddenly darted to your own. 

“It was never out of professional obligation.” He quietly confessed. Before you could process the words he had said, Hux was gone. The heavy door closed with a swoosh and locked. You leaned your forehead up against the door and sighed, possibly louder than you ever had done before. You had done it, you had survived, and finally you had the peace and quiet you had craved. 

“…y/n…” A voice echoed painfully in your head, it was a male voice, the same one you had heard in your office when Kylo Ren had left. 

You let out a sob as you fell to your knees, fists pounding on the door, as the voice continued to speak your name, over and over again. Each time the intensity of the voice, and the pain you felt escalated. It was as if, this voice was tearing your mind, your thoughts out, and replacing them with itself. 

“What the **HELL** is going on!?” You exclaimed, just before blackness overtook your vision and you collapsed.


	7. Who Are You?

Tired, that’s what you felt in this moment. Absolutely tired.

You stood leaning on the balcony, lazily gazing at the lake below, it had been a long day, filled with hard work and stress. You deserved a break from it all, and you could not think of any better place to take said break. Staring out at the beautiful Naboo landscape, you praised the heavens that you had been lucky enough to be born on the best planet in the universe. You couldn’t imagine living somewhere else, this was your home, there could be nowhere better.  
Watching the Naboo wildlife at play always brought peace to you. You chuckled in glee as the wind blew through your hair and tousled your sunset coloured chiffon dress. In the distance a couple of birds danced in the sky, the sunlight shining magnificently off their iridescent feathers, like exquisite multi-coloured fire, being painted across the pale blue canvas above. For a brief moment you felt jealousy, and longing. You wished you had the ability to just up and leave whenever you wanted. To not be tied down, bound by rules and regulations. You yearned to be free, forever unburdened by the expectations and limitations of your life. Shaking your head to clear the negative thoughts away, you watched as the lovebirds landed not but two feet from you. They perched beautifully on the balcony, like stain glass sculptures, silent and stunning, it brought a sense of calm to your exhausted mind.

“What are they?” A deep rich voice asked from behind, startling you. Turning quickly you came face to face with a man you’d never seen before. He was tall, easily 6 foot or taller, with raven black hair that hung in light waves to his shoulders. His face was both stern and soft at the same time, pale, with deep brown eyes, a strong nose, thick pink lips and a speckling of moles. Though he was nothing like the dashing heroes of your childhood stories, you could not deny he was attractive, beautiful in his own way, and something about him seemed so familiar, his voice perhaps? Even though you couldn’t quite place it, you couldn’t deny that you’d heard it before. A small dull ache started pulsing at the back of your head, and you just hoped you weren’t getting a migraine.

“I beg your pardon?” You asked confused, a part of you knew he shouldn’t be here. He certainly wasn’t a part of the staff, his dark fitted clothing was a stark contrast to the uniforms your cleaners wore. Maybe he was a co worker of your mothers, but she wasn’t home right now, and the way he stared at you, with such intensity made you believe he wasn’t looking for your mother, but instead had found exactly what he was seeking, with you.

“The birds.” He replied coming closer to both you and the birds. “I’ve never seen birds like this before.” He finished as he came to rest by your left side, gingerly reaching out a hand to touch one of the creatures.

“They’re called Nonneateo. It means glistening sky.” You leaned forward to pet the other, unattended bird. It’s soft head nuzzling into your palm, a soft pleasant smile stretched across your face, as your eyes met with the strangers. “They’re native only to this part of Naboo. They’ve tried taking them away from here, raising them in different environments, but they never survive.” As if on cue the Nonneateo took off, flying once again together into the distance. Leaving you alone with the stranger.

“You seem to know a lot about them.” The stranger observed. His voice becoming more and more familiar, every time you heard it.

“Well, there’s not really a lot to do around here.” You replied shrugging, leaning once again against the balcony, with your back towards the water you looked up at your companion. “It was either learn about plants or learn about the wildlife. I chose the less boring, boring option.”

“I thought Naboo was supposed to be exciting.” The stranger said somewhat disheartened, as if he’d been expecting more from your answer.

“You’ve never been here before?” You retorted, digging for information. There was a part of you that wanted, no, **needed** to know more about the tall stranger. And if you could build up more of a profile of the man, maybe you could figure out who he was.

“No, but my grandmother was born here. So I thought it would be…” He turned his gaze from you, trying to hide his face, as if he didn’t want to show weakness, however the disappointment in his voice was palpable. You felt bad for letting him down.

“Oh, don’t take my experiences as an outlier. I hear Naboo is quite a memorable fun experience for people with, you know, time, money and friends… Anyway, I’m probably not the best person to give tour advise to first timers. That’s more in my mother’s line of work.” You babbled. You hated yourself, and your unrelenting need to make others happy.

“Your mothers line of work?” He inquired. It seemed he was trying to get information out of you as well, but to much more success.

“She works at the Senate Embassy. She should have been home by now, it’s really not like her to be…Wait, this…this isn’t right.” There was something wrong, it had been gnawing at the back of your head since you’d woken up. Had you woken up today? You could only remember standing at the balcony. Did you even live on Naboo anymore. You were sure you’d left when you were a child…Wait, the birds! The Nonneateo. The had never once landed on your balcony before. They were terrified of humans. But you had always dreamed of one day touching them. Dreamed.

“y/n?” The stranger spoke, trying to get your attention. When he did, a pain shot through your skull. It was searing, as if the man himself had taken a red hot poker and shoved it into your brain.

You clutched your head, hoping that the pressure of your palms would alleviate the overwhelming pain. You were positive you were crying, but you couldn’t focus on the tears, your mind was too busy trying to tear itself apart at the seams.

“y/n? Leuitenant Colonel l/n?!” The man questioned again, once more sending a million volts through your head, and causing your legs to give.

You collapsed to the hard stone floor of the balcony, not caring about the damage to your knees or your dress. You didn’t understand. Why was this man’s voice hurting you? Why had he just shown up out of the blue? Who was he? How the hell did you get back to Naboo? You wanted to scream in frustration, but the pain wouldn’t let you. You knew it was **his** fault. This nerf-herding stranger was doing this to you, and you wanted to know why!

“Who are you!” You managed to scream out, your nails digging ever further into your scalp. You managed to wrack open your eyes for a moment to glare at the dark stranger. He seemed genuinely taken aback by your current situation, yet he made no move to help you, he just stood there awkwardly, as if he had no clue what to do.  
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!” You screamed once more, collapsing further to the ground, you pressed forehead against the freezing slabs of floor, begging for a respite from the pain, yet no relief came from it, and you feared there would be none, not unless you could get away from the man.

“y/n…Please…” The stranger finally made a move, extending his hand to you, as if he had finally decided to help. It would have been a kind sentiment, if it had been done by any other person. However you felt more fear, because if his voice alone had rendered you a crying, trembling mess on the floor, what in god’s name would him touching you do?

“No! Don’t touch me!” You cried out, as you scrambled forward, dodging the mans hand. “You shouldn’t be here! How did you get here?!” You yelled, as you manged to gain a hold on the doorway to the balcony, and despite your body screaming at you to stay down, you found the strength to stand.

The man slowly dropped his outstretched hand to his side. His once calm features turned dark, as he turned to glare at you. Once again you found yourself thinking the situation was awfully familiar.

“I could ask the same of you…y/n l/n.” His voice was deep, menacing, and dripping with venom. The man took a slow calculated step towards you, “Who exactly are **you**?” He kept coming forward, once again reaching his hand out to grasp you.

“Leave me alone!” You pathetically protested. Swatting at his hand. You turned to run, but the towering man quickly boxed you in between his arms. You pressed your body further into the ornate wall of the balcony doorway, hoping you’d be swallowed by it, and be able to escape this nightmare. Your whimpering seemed to aggravate the man more, as he let out a low frustrated growl from deep within his throat.

“What is so special about you?!” He leaned down, his face merely inches away from your own, his eyes were searching, but for what you did not know. As for the question, it didn’t seem entirely aimed at you, in fact it seemed it was a question as much for himself as it was for you.

Special. The word hit you like a ton of bricks. You knew exactly what was “special” about you, and it wasn’t your optimistic outlook on life. It was the Force. But there was no power in this galaxy or the next that could compel you to admit that. Instead you chose the more demeaning option, but after your collapse and tears, playing dumb didn’t seem all that bad anymore.

“Nothing.” You feebly mumbled, hoping that the man would fall for your ruse, but luck however seemed to have abandoned you this day as the man slammed his hands against the hard wall, causing you to squeal in fear.

Your breathing hitched as his face drew uncomfortably close to yours, his eyes burning into your own, as if setting your blatant lie alight. His head tilted menacingly as he asked. “Then how are you inside my head?”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“…l/n…Lieutenant Colonel l/n…” A panicked and augmented voice called to you through the darkness, followed swiftly by something violently shaking you. You felt heavy, restless, but a million times more safe than you had been just a few seconds ago. Though a part of you wished you could stay in this dark oblivion, separated from the hardships of the waking world and the terrors of the unconscious one, you knew your efforts to stay were futile as the unrelenting shaking would not stop.

As your eyes slowly opened you came face to face with the dark grey carpet of your personal quarters. Thankfully the shaking stopped as you let out a low guttural groan.

“Lieutenant Colonel l/n!” The distinctive augmented voice of a stormtrooper yelled in both glee and relief as you stirred around on the floor. Through blurry eyes you made out the white armored arms of the trooper helping you sit upright.

“Are you alright?” The trooper asked with concern managing to come through the heavy augmentation of the helmet. You honestly didn’t know the answer to that question, but with every passing second you regained your focus and your memories of what had just happened.

“Yes, thank you…uh…” You replied, finally gaining the courage to stand up, hoping that your body didn’t just plummet back to the ground like a wet bag of sand.

“FN-2187. We met yesterday morning.” The trooper answered as he helped you gain your balance.

“Ah yes, it’s good to see you again, FN-21... Wait, yesterday?” Your turned to face your desk clock, to see that it had been over 24 hours since you had come back to your room with Hux. Somehow, that voice and dream had managed to cause you to loose an entire day.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” FN-2187 asked once more. “If you’re feeling sick, we should take you to the medical wing.”

“No…” You exclaimed, a little louder than you should have as you saw poor FN-2187 physically flinch from your outburst. “No, no I just…” You needed to come up with a good excuse for your blackout, one that didn't involve confessing to a disembodied voice managing to knock you unconscious. “I just had a really hard day yesterday, been working too hard and sleeping too little. If I go to the med wing, they’ll probably write me off for a week or two, and then before you know it some up and comer has swooped in and taken my job…permanently. I just needed a good long rest.” You hope that this lie worked better than the last one.

“Wow, you officers really take your jobs seriously.” FN-2187 lightly laughed, and you immediately sighed with relief.

“Yeah well, we’ve got an empire to restore, and a galaxy to save. We kinda have to.” You laughed back, whilst you stretched lazily, trying to get a kink out of your neck. You liked FN-2187, and where glad it had been him that had found you on your floor. You had a feeling any other trooper would have reported it straight to Hux or Phasma, which begged the question, why was he here?

“So FN-2187,” You started, straightening up to your full height, and adding an air of authority be fitting a person of your rank. “What can I do for you? Because unless I missed a memo, which I can't because my department sends them out, troopers usually don’t do wake up calls.” You sudden change in attitude caused the relaxed trooper to quickly stand to attention. You had to admit they were trained well.

“Oh er, General Hux ordered me to deliver this to you ma’am.” He bent down to the floor, picking up a holopad, which he quickly handed to you.

“Oh I see, thank you FN-2187.” It was a replacement for the one that was destroyed yesterday, and hopefully if Hux was the one who had gotten it for you, it meant that it was already backed up with your old pads memory, that last thing you wanted to do is copy a million files over to the new one. As you booted up the new pad, you sighed with relief as it seemed Hux had done all the work. You smiled to yourself, he’d come through for you again. You knew you’d have to make it up to him somehow, but you highly doubted he’d except another cat, not after that fuss he’d made about Millicent.

You were quickly pulled out of your fond reminiscing by FN-2187, who you realised hadn’t left when he had given you your pad.

“Um, is there anything else?” You asked trying not to sound awkward or rude. Even day one troopers knew when they were no longer needed, was he expecting a tip or something?

“Er actually ma’am, General Hux ordered me to keep watch over you until your office is repaired and you can return to work.” He stated matter-of-factly.

The shoe dropped, and you realised now why Hux had taken the time to sort your holopad for you, because he’d gone and stuck you with a babysitter. You knew what his line of thinking was, he thought that by sorting out your holopad for you, you owed him, and thus you couldn’t complain that he’d sent a stormtrooper to be your personal bodyguard from Kylo and his personal snitch on you. That sneaky son-of-a…

“Do you know how long that will take?” You inquired, once again glad that it was FN-2187 that had been assigned this role instead of some jack booted thug that would no doubt be like a stick up your ass.

“Um, the General said about two or three days.”

“Well it’s a good thing I slept through one of them then.” You replied sarcastically. “Is there anything else you need to tell me? The General hasn’t confined me to my quarters or something as equally annoying, has he?”

“No ma’am, my orders are to make sure you’re safe, and to keep you away from Commander Ren if you two should cross paths.” FN-2187 stated.

“Okay, fine.” You sighed. You were relived that Hux hadn’t gone full on prison warden with you, but you couldn’t deny how weird it was to have him caring so much about your safety, he’d never, not once in the eleven years you’d known him, been this protective. If you were a fool, you would have thought he was scared.

You groaned in frustration as you wiped your hands across your face. Why did things have to start getting complicated? You had finally settled into a happy routine, found some peace to your life and now because you had bungled up your meditation, you had subsequently been attacked, assaulted, and blacked out. You’d found out that Hux might be a little more human than he lets on. And not forgetting the weird voice that claims **you** invaded **it**. Your life had managed to spiral out of your control all in 48 hours. That had to be some kind of a record. You needed an escape, somewhere to calm down and focus on what the hell you were going to do now. You needed to figure out who the voice was, what had happened whilst you were blacked out, and you also needed to come to terms with what had happened in your office with Kylo and Hux. But most importantly you needed to breathe, and you knew you couldn’t do that whilst a stormtrooper was stuck to your hip and staring at you with it’s blank, emotionless helmet.

Your hands traveled from your face through your ratted excuse for your hair. You turned away from FN-2187 to stare out your bedroom window, into the cold white forest outside. Letting out a shaky breath you decided that the best course of action right now, was to take things one step at a time.

Turning briskly back to your ever patient stormtrooper, you smiled up at him. “Grab your coat FN-2187, we’re going for a walk.” Hoping that if you could fake happiness maybe it would actually come back to you.


End file.
